I’ve been pondering something lately.
I remember when I was a Christian how the world was presented as very black and white. Rules were supposed to be very clear and we were in a spiritual battle so every decision was part of that ongoing war.
Right and wrong, black and white. Kind of sounds comforting in a way. It’s nice to know you’re on the right side of a huge cosmic battle and it’s supposed to make living your everyday life easier too. If you know all the rules then all you have to do is follow them, right?
But it’s not that simple. Because we can’t see or hear god – we have to rely on the bible and other Christians and what we think god is saying to us in our head to figure out how to make those decisions. That in itself creates a lot of frustrating grey. Whose opinon? Whose rules? Whose interpretation? Add in the fact that every mistake is now a sin, and I think Christians spend a lot more time in the grey than in the black and white.
My life feels much more simple now than when I was a Christian. And it’s not because I never doubt my actions or decisions or because it’s just easier not having any rules to follow. It’s because I’m ok with being human now.
Christianity tells us that we all deserve to spend eternity in a toruture chamber. Why? For being human. If there is a god – he made us human … and then punishes us for that? The further I get from Christianity the more implausable the whole story sounds. So now as an atheist, if I screw up – I just accept that I screwed up – and move on. This isn’t easy for me and never will be – I’m just that type of personality – but it’s much easier now than it was as a Christian. I just have this acceptance for my humanness that I didn’t have before.
Christopher Hitchens talks about how Christianity brings in the idea of thought crime. Think about that. As a Christian there is Someone monitoring your every thought and will judge you on them. Really think about that. Well – over time – as that faded – I was able to just look at the world for what it was and accept my place as an imperfect human in it. And now my thoughts belong only to me.
Ahhhh! Sweet peace.