[I wrote this page in December of 2010.]
First off, let me say that I did not leave Christianity because of Christians. The Christians I have been privileged to know have been wonderful, sincere and nothing but supportive of me. There were some in particular who made themselves available to me as I went through this intensely difficult struggle with my faith. They were available night and day and did not condemn me in any way. I have nothing but respect for Christians themselves. My journey out of Christianity was an intellectual one. I just could no longer accept the authority of the Bible as a perfect and true book and I could no longer accept the basic message of the faith.
Before I continue, let me direct you to someone who had a similar intellectual deconversion. After I read the book I felt like he had explained a lot of the same journey I had taken, but much better than I could. It is a full online book but you can skip around to the parts that interest you.
Why I Believed by Kenneth W. Daniels
Anyway – onto my story. My experience into and then out of Christianity is bookmarked by two deaths. The first was the suicide of my 21 year old brother when I was only 10 years old. His death forced me to think about some tough issues like life, death, God … and what happens to us when we die. Around the same time I was invited to a Jr.High group at a church where one of my good friends attended. Wow! They had all the answers to the questions I’d been grappling with. I’d believed in God up to this point, but now I found out that wasn’t enough. I was going to hell unless I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour. What 10 year old would turn Jesus down when presented with those options? I gladly jumped in and took the plunge. For the next 20 years I lived a happy Christian life, never wavering in my beliefs. Well – maybe that isn’t completely true. LIke many Christians, my views mellowed over time. Did God really send people to hell just for not being Christians? The God of love I’d been taught about wouldn’t really do that would He? I certainly hoped not, but at least I was safe. Besides, maybe hell wasn’t eternal torment but just a separation from God that unbelievers willingly chose.
In case anyone is wondering how committed and sincere a Christian I was, let me reassure you that I was. I was a stay-at-home mom of five who chose to homeschool her children so she could raise them as proper Christians, untarnished by the secular school system. After six years of homeschooling it became too much for me so I enrolled them in public school, still committed as ever to raising them to be model Christians. I read Christian books, prayed, followed the Bible’s teachings (or at least what I was taught were the Bible’s teachings), marked up my Bible like crazy while I read, listened to Christian music …. the list goes on. I was completely convinced I was following the truth.
The second death, which ultimately led to my exit from Christianity, was that of my father-in-law. After battling cancer for many years he passed away in November of 2008. Little did I know what an impact his death would have on my life. I immediately started questioning all the big questions. Did my father-in-law go to hell? How do we know what happens when people die? How do we know the Bible is a perfect book? How do we even know it’s true at all? I remember one of the first books I read was “How Jesus Became Christian” by Barrie Wilson. It rocked my world. Maybe the Christianity I’d been following wasn’t what I’d been taught. I started reading everything I could find on Christianity. I desperately needed reassurance that it was all true. My whole world was being shaken. Everything I’d believed about the universe was up for questioning and I didn’t like where it was leading me. By Christmas Eve of 2008 I was a complete mess. I believed I had committed an unpardonable sin (Mark 3:28-29; Hebrews 6:4-6) by rejecting Christ and I was condemned to hell with no chance of redemption.
What followed was a two year journey out of Christianity. I often wondered how everyone could go about their lives and not obsess about all the big life questions. I certainly couldn’t. I was barely functional. I lived with the fear of hell every day and yet I couldn’t go back in time either. My whole world had been shattered and I was left with trying to pick up the pieces.
I’m finally at a place of peace as an atheist. I have carefully thought through my position on issues of faith. My views on Christianity are now made from the outside. This video sums up my views of Christianity:
I was thinking the other day about what has or hasn’t changed in my life since leaving Christianity. Here is a short list:
STAYED THE SAME:
My love for my family and others. I still behave morally even without a belief in god. I still love my kids up one side and down the other. I still love my husband and appreciate what an amazing man he is (he stuck with me through all of this with unwavering support). I still appreciate all the good things in my life and love enjoying nature and the universe.
CHANGED:
My views on the meaning of life. My views on the afterlife. My views on morality, homosexuality, sex. My acceptance of myself and others – I don’t have to constantly feel like I’m not living up to god’s expectations. I have fewer reasons to judge others because I don’t have to view them in light of the Bible. I see suffering differently now.
As much as we want answers to the big questions in life I don’t think a god, if he exists, has chosen to communicate them to us. Watch this short video: God or Nothing? If he does exist I don’t think he is dependant on our believing in him. But what if I’m wrong? Good question. I have two answers to that. One is found here:
My other answer is what if Christians are wrong about the god of Islam? Or any other god that people have believed in. How do they know they have the right god?
“We are all atheists about most of the gods humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.” Richard Dawkins
You may also we wondering what it would take to convince me that Christianity is true. Here is a link.
That’s my story. If you want more details about why I felt I had to leave Christianity, check out some of my other pages. You can access my blog through several options on the right side of the screen: you can click on one of my recent posts, search through the archives, or choose a category that interests you.
[People seem to read my story and see only sadness and tragedy. Please see the Atheist Life page or the Atheist Life category on my blog for insight into what my life is like post christianity.]
Oct 15, 2011: Here’s a link to one of my posts that gives some insight into why I became a Christian in the first place and what made it so difficult to get out:
Were you just following a religion at the time of your Christianity or did you have a relationship with Jesus in which you prayed and read the Bible in regards to all of your questions? Its sounds like you were going through a spiritual warfare in which you gave up. You can’t come up with all those answers yourself or you’ll hurt yourself trying. You must instead humbly seek God’s understanding. I know I want to know so much as well, but the Word says it is the fear of the Lord that brings understanding (and He gives us a little more everyday). We must therefore be like little children knowing we are broken people living in a broken world; all we have to do is have faith that God is good. Earth is such a mess because it is devoid of God (suffering=lack of God=sin). Accepting Jesus means we will be reconnecting spiritually to God. God then gathers those who choose HIM to live in goodness eternally (so you have a choice). Unfortunately, the devil manipulates our emotions and lives when we need to make this most important eternal choice. Ask God to open your heart and eyes so that you can make a firm choice for yourself and eventually for all the other ones you love still living. May God’s love reach you.
I wish I had more time to give you a proper response, but I’ll do what I can in short form.
1 – Was I just following a religion? Absolutely not. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were my best friends and the focus of my life. I used to spend the entire afternoon working systematically through the Bible, learning and making endless notes in the margins. I prayed. I listened to Christian music. I homeschooled so that I could raise five wonderful Christian children. I attended church regularly, taught sunday school … the list goes on. I was a true blue Jesus Freak
It’s funny to me that this is a question I get often. Christians don’t want to know or can’t believe that someone who was a devoted Jesus follower could decide it wasn’t real. It doesn’t fit into their world view. But I did.
2 – I no longer see any value in turning off my questioning. I don’t see how faith is more valuable than well thought out conclusions.
3 – ‘Broken people living in a broken world.’ – Yes – I agree. But while Christianity teaches us that this is all our fault – over time I realized that if there is a god – then he made us human and bears the responsibility for how we turned out.
4 – ‘Suffering=lack of God=sin’ – Why is there a lack of God? We assume that if there is a god then he must remain hidden – but why?
5 – Pain I’ve suffered. I really need to do an update on My Story. It must sound really tragic because people keep mentioning my awful suffering. The death of my brother and the death of my father-in-law were events (sad as they were) that triggered some intense questioning on my part. And then during the roughly 2 years when I slowly left Christianity – that was pretty rough. But I haven’t suffered any more than anyone else and I’ve since found a place of great peace in my life. I look back now and don’t regret much because it all made me the person I am now.
I hope this answers some of your questions!
I really appreciate how well you’ve thought all the questions out. I was a theology major and reading through this explanation, I can clearly see your careful and complete examination. Though you and I didn’t end up in the same place, we both took the same road. Every religious person should ask themselves the questions you did and have answers, just my opinion.
Thanks sacred struggler. I appreciate your comments.
Also, my heart goes out to all the pain you have suffered. Just know we are all the same as far as suffering that is why I reached out to you. But Jesus Christ is the only answer, He suffered like us already and He wants you to know you can let HIM carry all your burdens. The devil doesn’t want you to know that. You seem like a nice person; I will pray for you. Love and peace.
I just found your blog because I am a Tim Minchin fan, and googled “Thank You God lyrics”. I spent many years being a Christian and am now atheist (and Unitarian Universalist). Love your blog. Of course you have given your beliefs a lot of thought and consideration. I ope your family and friends or whomever you were speaking to with this site, have come to understand or at least respect your decision. I think that is the hardest part, when people you love are Christian, and are distraught by you choice of a different path.
Thanks for dropping me a note! I love when people stumble across my blog and get something/anything from it.
The important people in my life stuck by me and that’s all that really matters to me. I was very lucky that way.
Thanks again!
I stumbled across your blog in exactly the same way as Mary! And I’m glad I did. I love this blog – keep writing!
Thanks for taking the time to comment! It made my day!
Thank you for sharing your story Brenda. I’m so glad you were able to liberate yourself and find happiness.
I’m curious how this all affected your family. Off to read more… If you haven’t written about that yet – it would be an awesome topic.
Thank you for commenting! I love hearing from people.
I can only talk minimally about my family in respect of their privacy but I think the following is ok to state:
My hubby has been amazingly supportive throughout this whole thing. I would call him an agnostic although I don’t think he even likes that title. We still discuss religouis/atheist issues (among a million other things!) and we are closer than ever as a couple.
My 14 yr old is a committed born-again Christian. It was very tough for him but I’m pleased to say that he has come to terms with my new views. I have never tried to deconvert him and in return he gives me the same respect.
My 12 yr old grew up going to church but I don’t know where she really stands right now. We’ve had a few discussions and I’m sure we’ll have more in the years to come.
My younger three (ages 8, 6, and 4) were young enough that it hasn’t affected them. They will grow up in a secular home.
Our extended families have been wonderful. None of them were bible thumpers like we were so no issues there
I went through the very same thing. Home schooling fundy mom of 3 deconverted (deconstructed, rather) in 2008-2010, a 2 year struggle, one year of which was spent on the floor sobbing. Not an easy transition. Ironically, it was education (schooling my kids on Egyptian history, Atlantis vs Noah, etc) and my own education from a Christian university that set me free from Christianity. That and begging “God” to show me the “truth.” I found it in the bible. Rev 2:2 and 2 Tim 1:18–set me free from Pauline Christianity, explored gnosticism and everything the church teaches is heretical. Now, still spritual, but would describe myself as a non-theist. To me, it’s all quantum physics: we are infinite energy with creative intention and abundant power. Maybe “Jesus” was right after all and Christians can’t see past the brainwashing” ye are gods.
It’s interesting reading how difficult your journey out of christianity was – most people I know found leaving their faith much easier than I did – so it’s sort of nice knowing there is someone else out there who understands how difficult it all was for me.
I’ll admit that I went down the humanist/atheist path as opposed to any type of spirituality but I’m glad that both of us have found beliefs that we can feel content with and that aim us in a new direction.
Essence of Christian faith is simple belief in the sovereignity of God (Revelation 4:11(b); Jeremiah 18:3-10)
There is no place for mortal man’s puny intelligence (Einstein says we use less than 5% of our heads) to think why & how God does things. Having tasted of God’s salvation & personal relationship with Christ, the person has only 1 purpose in life – to tell this Good news to others, that they may also enjoy God’s wonderful relationship & eternal life.
Essence of Living the Christian life is ‘handing over your reins’ to Christ. He lives through you. Stop “trying” to live – it only makes a mess.
From your description, it is doubtful you ever had a submissive relationship to the Savior. With good sense, you would not mislead others who search for Christ…..But his arms are still outstretched to you.
Godspeed.
Isaiah. 29:16 “You turn things around!
Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay,
That what is made would say to its maker, “He did not make me”;
Or what is formed say to him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?”
If man’s intelligence is so puny then how can you claim to know so many things about your god and how he thinks and what he wants? Christians claim to have so much knowledge beyond the rest of us while at the same time claiming that we can’t rely on our own intelligence.
And I certainly did have a submissive relationship with Christ, but I love how Christians immediately deny that I did (especially coming from someone who didn’t know me as a Christian – how could you possibly know????) I don’t think there is any way to prove that I did (which shows what a vague and subjective thing it is to begin with) but if you ask people who knew me when I was a Christian they would say that at least in the ways that they could observe – I was indeed a true Christian.
As far as me turning around – not likely. Your god would have to pull a miracle out of his hat
Really fascinating blog – it comes up top of the Google search for the ‘Thank You God’ lyrics – as someone else said previously. The bots are doing their job well!! I am so impressed with your responses to the religious folks who seem to want to ‘save you’ from your new path! I’m not sure I would treat their comments with as much respect as you have managed to. At the end of the day they seem to be pitying you for your ‘wrong choice’ in becoming atheist – one of the biggest issues I (as a hardcore completely content atheist) find most aggravating about religious folk of any ‘particular God’ (as TM would say!) So pleased you have found peace and are experiencing for yourself that us atheists are as morally sound as anyone else!!
Thanks so much for your positive comments! I really appreciate when someone takes the time to say something encouraging
I don’t post as often as I used to but I’m glad my blog is out there for those that are interested in my journey out of christianity.
Thanks so much!
Percy – I have known Brenda very well for going on twenty years now, and can assure you that from what I observed I would say that Brenda’s relationship with Christ was genuine. I don’t think that anyone has the right or ability to judge the sincerity of such an intimate and personal choice/relationship. If you believe that God has given everyone free will this does mean that anyone can walk away from a relationship with Christ, EVEN if they have experienced him in his entirety. I think that often time when someone who knows and loves Christ hears of someone walking away from that very relationship that they are experiencing it can be frightening and cast doubt so it is natural to throw up defensive walls and to try to ‘explain’ what has happened. I am not saying this was the case with your response or observation, but rather asking you to be careful. While you may have been trying to encourage, I trust that if you go back and read that particular statement, even within the context of everything else that you said, it is not one of encouragement (maybe take a closer look at the motive?). While I may understand the want to try to encourage someone to embrace Christ, in most cases it should be left to those that have a personal and vested interest in the person that is being shared with, otherwise it comes off as preachy and elitist. I do sincerely hope that this does not hurt or offend you but I do have a personal and vested interest in Brenda, and love she and her family very much so will always stand by and support them. We just aren’t meant to judge, even that is biblical and without an inside and very close, personal view of someone’s life that is just far too presumptuous.
Just so you know, I love Christ with all my heart and believe in his word and teachings with all my heart.
Thanks for your comments Dave! I do realize that someone like me just doesn’t exist in a Christian’s world view. I’m someone who had a genuine relationship with Christ and then turned my back on it – and not so I could rebel and sin, but because I truly didn’t believe any of it anymore. You’re so right that Christians try to come up with some other explanation – and that explanation is normally that I couldn’t have been a true Christian. So I try to be understanding of where that is coming from even though it drives me a bit crazy.
Richard Wright’s book “The Evolution of God” is a book that I highly recommend. I didn’t give me answers but it did provide a lot of questions. I needed to arrive at the answers on my own.
Hi Brenda, well written blog. Glad to hear you’ve managed to escape religion.
I’m chatting with a guy from Austin Texas at the mo ( on youtube), he’s a devout born again Christian, he casually mentioned to me how much he and his daughter love the singer Adele ( me too, she is unbelievable.. how can you not love that voice!!). It got me to thinking, .. I’m pretty sure she is an atheist, .. now, according to his beliefs, unless she accepts Jesus, she’s going to burn in hell!! Can he not see a problem here, .. her voice has brought joy to millions of people, what kind of sick god would send her to hell?. I looked on google to try and find out more about her beliefs or where she stood on god, I typed in “Adele Christianity”, and it sent me here. I’ve enjoyed reading your story ,and reading the comments from devout christians, ..they really seem in a bubble to me, unable to reason with.
Anyhoo, let me know if you know Adele’s stance on religion, I’ve got a sneaky feeling she’s an atheist.
Bonnie43uk ( thats my youtube name)
in sunny Swindon England.
Sorry – I have no idea what her stance on religion is. Wish I could be of more help.
Thanks for visiting my site and having a look around. You’re right about the comments from Christians. They’d probably agree with you. They are proud of the fact that they have faith and don’t rely on mere human reason. It makes discussing things difficiult but if someone like me can change her mind then there’s always hope
I have always been sooooo consfused over the issue of how people that say that they don’t believe in God hold Him responsible for “sending people to hell”. i have always had the understanding and belief that to acknowledge and accept the we are created in the image of God, believing that He came Himself to earth to take responsibility for His creation and the mistakes (or sins) that we make BECAUSE He created us and Loves us beyond our understanding, not holding us responsible because He KNOWS HE created us, and would never expect us to take responsiblity for what He created. asking only that we BELIEVE in Him, not our own understanding. Those of us that accept this, that believe this, have the joy of eternity with Him where those that deny Him choose to take responsibiltiy for themselves and they CHOOSE to NOT spend eternity with Him, choosing instead to make a well informed decision to spend eternity instead without Him which is hell. He has made it very clear that we have that choice and has also made it very clear that He desires but never forces us to do anything, that includes Him never “forcing” us into hell. His Judegement will be a time of truth for those that trust, believe and accept as well as for those that refuse, deny and doubt. He will simply say, as they have said, that He doesn’t know them, which is what they agree to while living here…they don’t even believe He exists let alone know Him.
I am having trouble linking to it, but I turned my response into a blog post. So check out the blog post entitled, ‘Question/Comment About Hell’ for my response to your question.
Thanks.
I love hearing stories about their de-conversion. Or to better to put it no longer believed their was sufficient evidence of a God.
It reassures me that I’m not the only one, and I’m not going crazy.
You are definitely NOT crazy! I know I thought I was for awhile. Christians didn’t have the doubts that I did and non-believers couldn’t understand how fundamental my faith was to my life and how my loss of faith shook me to my core. No one could understand what I was going through and finding other deconversion stories online helped me too.
I’m thrilled if my blog helps you in any way and please let me know if I can be of any more assistance.
In my case it was ironic, because I used to believe that those who weren’t saved would be thrown into hell and be tortured for day and night forever and ever. Yet it was my belief in this that was torturing ME day and night forever and ever. And there were so many things that never made sense. How many failed prayers can we ask until we realize it doesn’t work? Why would God allow an invisible being (Satan) to “trick” us to following him, while God watches? How can we ever trust ourselves if that was the case? Why does Jesus seem so different than the God of the Old Testament? I also got tired of the hypocrisy of Christian beliefs and sayings. Every time something good happened, praise God! Every time something bad happens, blame Satan! Yet we have no proof of any of this! How can you assign blame when you can’t prove it? Can you imagine if our justice system worked like this?
I tell you that without the belief in Christianity, I am a much happier person. I no longer look at the world as for or against my religion. I no longer view people as doomed to a place of eternal torture. I no longer feel guilty for being born a human being and not being perfect.
BTW…I was born and raised a Catholic and was “Born Again” in college. I realized after a while that my preachers were lying and what they said didn’t make sense. I’m so glad to be free. Please don’t worry about these Christians who question your sincerity as to how “Christian” you were. Most of them probably haven’t read the whole bible because once I did, I realized how barbaric it really was. Again, ironic that the one thing they want you to do is what also helped to turn me away.
Thanks so much for sharing some of what led you out of Christianity! It encourages me and I hope it encourages others who have left or are thinking of leaving.
Sounds like you dealt with many of the same questions I had. It’s interesting that you mentioned no longer feeling quilty about being human and not being perfect. I wrote a post about that. Here’s the link:
http://leftchristianity.com/2011/11/25/being-human/
Now that I’ve been out of Christianity for a while I do shake my head in wonder that people don’t see the glaring problems with the bible – contradictions, immoral things being accepted and encouraged, impossible and implausable things happening all over the place … and just a weird story that makes no sense. It just screams having been written by people from that time period – no hint of anything coming from a being that is all-knowing. It’s amazing what your mind can twist to make sense when the god glasses are on.
You’re right – reading the bible can be the nail in the coffin if you don’t try to rationalize everything in it. I recommend people read it with the online Skeptic’s Annotated Bible:
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/index.htm
I also bought one of my children The Atheist’s Bible Companion to the New Testament (amazon.com link):
The Atheist's Bible Companion to the New Testament: A Comprehensive Guide to Christian Bible Contradictions
It’s the most comprehensive book out there dealing with the contradictions – unfortunately it is only for the New Testament.
Thanks for your comments! I really appreciate them!
Brenda,
You’re very welcome. I think any Christian who tells you they don’t struggle with these questions is a liar. It’s just that some of us realize why it doesn’t make sense, while others will fight to live that lie because it’s all they know or want to believe.
I just read your article about “Being Human.” You’re right. It’s the exact thing I’m talking about. Thought crime is a perfect example too. All things that make us human, we’re just supposed to turn off because well, we’re just bad. Thanks God. You’d think he would have created us destined for heaven and then allowed us to fall, instead of being born doomed to hell and having us fight our way back. That part NEVER made sense to me and I now see it for what it is…a lie.
The problem is, Christianity affects everything you think. The whole “What Would Jesus Do” makes you filter everything through Christianity. Every time I liked a song, I wondered “Would God support this?” What about any TV shows you watch? Or the video games you play? Or every time you get angry? Ask anyone about these things and you’ll get completely different answers, especially when it comes to specifics. Take music for example. Some Christians will say listening to anything that doesn’t follow your beliefs is a sin. Some, if it’s not Christian based it’s sin. Some if it’s profane it’s sin. Some if it’s rock-based, it’s a sin. Others think it doesn’t matter at all. It’s not just grey, it’s every color of the rainbow and all the shades in-between.
The bible does come off as written by ignorant men. Genesis is obviously written by men trying to figure out what is going on with our world while having no clue how it really works. Reading it without god glasses makes that very evident. Noah’s ark was actually the first story I really couldn’t reconcile with logic no matter how much I tried. If God really did write the bible, it should blow us away. Instead, I read it always wondering “Why is God killing children? Why is God saying to kill everyone but the virgins? Why is the Old Testament such a bloodbath?”
Just keep strong in what you believe. My whole family and almost everyone I know are Catholic. My family almost went crazy when I left that to go more fundamental, but if they found out about this I don’t know what they’d think. Luckily for me, I’m a very strong-willed person. Nobody is going to make me feel bad for this because it was a process, not a hasty decision. We have nothing to be ashamed for because we’re searching for the truth. If anything, I feel sorry for them because with their god glasses, they may never find it.
“while others will fight to live that lie because it’s all they know or want to believe.”
I remember years ago having a moment during the night where I truly considered the idea that maybe god didn’t exist. I can’t remember what was going on at the time – I just remember feeling the magnitude of the idea – it overwhelmed me. It shook me to my core. But I guess it was too much for me at the time and I pushed it aside and went on with my life. Probably chalked it up to a dark night of the soul. For some reason – the second time it happened I couldn’t go back … and the rest is history. So I do understand how Christians can just choose to stay in their box – it’s safer.
Fortunately my extended family is not strongly religious. They are more ‘be a good person’ type of religious people. So everyone was very supportive of me whichever way I went. I lost most of my christian circle of friends – but not the ones that mattered – they stuck with me – which I’m really grateful for.
Again – thanks for your comments.
I think it’s important to realize that leaving Christianity doesn’t mean that you have to abandoned your notion of God …. My problem with Christianity is that by definition it discounts any other path to spiritual enlightenment or spiritual fulfillment. You are either a Christian or you are destined to burn in the lake of fire for all eternity, and that being a principled,loving, caring Atheist, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, etc … didn’t count for much of anything and in fact put you on a fast track to hell.
There are people, I being one of them, who believe that there is a common thread that binds all living things together … that we humans are not on sentient beings but spiritual beings. That all of us have a right to live in dignity and a responsibility to treat others with respect and compassion. I reject the idea that those who ignore these responsibilities, spew hatred and deprive others of their right to love, to live in peace to celebrate life in the name of their religion someone get a free pass because they do so in Jesus’ name.
If, in fact, there was a rabbi named Yeshua who taught,love, forgiveness, peace, and understanding in Judea 2000 years ago (and there might have been given how common the name was), It is inconceivable that he would sanction the barbarity of modern Christianity being practiced in Churches all across America today.
A friend of mine asked me a while back, “What if you’re wrong?”. My answer was and continues to be that if I am wrong, then it is my hope and prayer that God sees the state of Religion in the time that I living, sees the damage that it is inflicting on the planet and on humanity and will shrug his shoulders and say, “I understand, come on in”.
Thanks for your comments. You’re right that there are more choices than just Christian or atheist. My journey led pretty quickly from one to the other. When I realized that Christianity couldn’t back up anything it was claiming, it didn’t take long for me to reach the same conclusion about other religions. It just seemed pointless spending time and energy on trying to figure out things that were unknowable. I decided to just toss it all and focus on my life here and now. But I can appreciate that this isn’t going to be the path for everyone and I would love to see all religious people (who choose to stay religious) be open-minded and accepting of others.
Thanks for contributing to the conversation. I love a good discussion!
I love the way you’ve written your story. It’s funny how many similarities there are in your journey and mine. Looking forward to following your blog!
Thanks Nate – I’m following your blog too. While I don’t post as often anymore – I still consider this blog an important expression of my journey as a person and who I am today. I also hope blogs like yours and mine will help people out there who are having the same doubts we did.
Thanks for the follow, Brenda!
Hi Brenda,
I chanced upon your blog via Lorena’s ‘Leaving Fundamentalist Christianity’ blog.
I too am an ex-Christian and some of the issues you raise in this article and elsewhere I touch upon in the following two-part article:
http://new.exchristian.net/2011/08/14-problems-with-christianity-part-i.html
http://new.exchristian.net/2011/09/14-problems-with-christianity-part-ii.html
I also recommend the exchristian.net blog and forum if you don’t know of it already. The blog in particular is a great little community full of people just like us. I think you’ll fit in well there.
Thanks for stopping by! I’ll check out those links and the blog.
OMG! I’m so happy that Nate posted your link on his blog! I love your story. (I was also a dedicated and active member of a fundamentalist church — for 15+ years!)
While I didn’t follow exactly the same path, I’ve ended up in pretty much the same place … except I don’t call myself an atheist. I definitely don’t believe in the Christian (Abrahamic) God, but I’m not totally convinced there isn’t some kind of energy/force/presence in the Universe. It probably goes along with the fact that I believe (as Neil DeGrasse Tyson talks about) we are part of the universe and the universe is part of us.
In any case, I appreciate your website and have bookmarked it for future visits.
Thanks for saying hi! I’ll be following your blog and look forward to your future posts.
Really enjoyed reading your blog, watching the videos (and I thought I had seen every single atheist video out there!) and reading the related blogs. Looking forward to reading the book you recommended. I’ve also enjoyed reading the responses here and your patient explanations. Well done, great writing and thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks for the positive feedback!
Which book recommendation in particular are you referring to?
In your “My Story” Section: Why I Believed by Kenneth W. Daniels. Still slogging my way through Walt Whitman, but I’m looking forward to reading it next:)
Great! I haven’t read through that book in a long time but I have clicked to certain sections. A recent example is his discussion on Pascal’s Wager which I thought was great. Let me know if you end up with any sections that are your favourites.
This is a really powerful story. It must have been a very difficult journey and I’m glad you’ve found peace. I think our ability to look around and question the world is very important, and I identify strongly with the idea that one can behave morally without basing that morality on the Bible. Also, the quote from Richard Dawkins is great.
Thanks for stopping by! I checked out your blog and signed up to follow it.
Hi Brenda, I know exactly the feelings you talk about. The fear is particularly difficult to get rid of, especially when it is ingrained from such a young age…Even now, I feel awkward vocalising how I think about religion, apart from when I am arguing with someone, because there is always that little bit in the back of your head going “But what if they were right”, or even worse, being worried that something is going to happen to you now because you have said something bad.
It was so bad at one point for me when I started looking at other options that I was scared of even reading anything non-christian, which to me, as a rational, scientific, independent, confident adult was completely strange.
I mostly get round it these days by looking at all the other people who think similar things to me and haven’t had terrible things happen to them, but I am angry that I can’t get rid of those ingrained thoughts from when I was a child..
Thanks for sharing!
I never had the fear that something bad might happen to me now (always figured I might just roast in the afterlife). I definitely remember the fear of reading anti-Christian books/blogs/online articles, etc. I thought I was committing some horrible sin just by having them around at all. Looking back now, it’s amazing I ever continued on – the fear was so great.
The odd time that I think, ‘What if I’m wrong?’ I just remember that everyone else has an equal chance of being wrong as well. If there is a god then he’s placed us in a grand guessing game and he’d be a pretty awful god to expect us to figure out the answers to the universe in order to not burn in a torture chamber.
Frankly I think Christians (who profess to love god) have a pretty awful view of what type of god he is. I think if there is a god, I view him as being a more moral god than the Christian version of him. I don’t think any type of all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving god would do the things the Christians say he has or will do.
But then again – who says a god (if it exists) is all-powerful or all-knowing or all-loving? We have no way of knowing any of that. Again – a grand guessing game.
It looks like you’re finding out how desperately people want us to stay in the fold. As a former evangelical and former protestant minister let me just say first, you are courageous in leaving the faith, and second, it’s really not worth it, in my experience, to play the “bible game” and try to reason with unreasonable people. As we know, folks just need to find their own way out. All the best with your life and writing.
Thanks for stopping by! My biggest hope is that my blog is there for anyone who is already struggling with doubts. I think it can be helpful for them to connect up with someone who has been down the same road and come out the other side. That is my main target audience. If others get something from my site then that’s an added bonus. You’re right – I’m probably not going to have much impact on people who aren’t already doubting and it’s not worth my time (or theirs) to try to convince them of anything.
I hope to find the peace that you have found some time soon, thank you for sharing your journey!
I’m glad if my story and my site can help you in any way. My main goal for the site is to be an encouragement and resource for anyone having doubts about their faith (like I did). It was a tough road and I want people who find themselves on a similar journey to know that others have been where they are and come out the other side.
Hi Brenda! I’ve read your story, but I haven’t read any of the comments on it, so please forgive me if this has already been asked: Are your children still Christians, or have they left Christianity too?
Also, how hard was it to leave your church community?
I’m just curious. I was raised a non-theist, and I’ve become interested in what people go through when leaving their religions.
Hi Paul – thanks for your questions.
I don’t mention my children much out of respect for their privacy – but I can tell you that my oldest (who is a teen) is still a fundamentalist Christian – the rest are not. The three youngest don’t even really remember much about church at all. It’s been quite liberating raising them without the fear of hell and without the notion that there is some invisible being watching their every move and reading their every thought – and who is ready to judge them at every turn. They are free to be children – they don’t have to worry about the fate of their soul or of the souls of everyone around them!
Leaving our church community – hmmm. Good question. There was no official shunning of us (which I know some people do go through) – but here we are a few years later and there are only a couple Christians left in our life and mostly on a superficial level. Everyone else just kind of faded away. Having said that – it was probably on our end as well as theirs. There just isn’t much left in common anymore when we’ve rejected something that shapes every aspect and decision in their lives. It’s hard for people outside the fundamentalist community to truly understand how much their relationship with god permeates every waking moment and every interaction. And I honestly think they just didn’t know what to make of me. For many fundamentalists it’s impossible for a true Christian to reject Christ. So they think I either wasn’t a true Christian in the first place (which is the accusation most ex-Christians get) – or I’ve chosen to rebel in the worst way possible and will suffer eternally for it. Who wants to hang around me now when I fall into one of those two categories?
We are extremely busy so we haven’t gone out of our way to build a new circle of friends but we are slowly working on it.
Thanks for stopping by! Your blog looks interesting!
Thank you for your kind words about my blog!
I agree with you that it’s very hard for a non-Christian such as myself to understand the fundamentalist community. I’ve been struggling to do so for years. It is easy to dismiss fundamentalists as freaks and idiots — and I see that done all the time. But I don’t believe that’s justified. Too many fundamentalists are well-adjusted, intelligent people. And that just adds to the mystery of why anyone would be a fundamentalist. It’s all very interesting!
From what I’ve been able to figure out, it usually takes a special kind of person to leave fundamentalism. Most people are not able to do it. It impresses me that the people who are able to do it seem to usually be the very same people who once tried the hardest of all to be good Christians. I know that the people they leave behind often say of them, “They weren’t true Christians in the first place.” But from what I can see, it’s actually the other way around. At least it usually is. The people who leave were the ones who tried the hardest to make Christianity work for them.
At any rate, I’m finding your story and posts helpful to me in understanding fundamentalism — which is something I’ve been trying to do for a while.
Paul
People on both sides tend to dismiss each other. It’s unusual to find someone who looks deeper and really wants to understand what’s going on behind all the obvious disagreements – so I applaud you for that. I’m definitely in a unique position to be able to understand both sides. It actually felt nice to have someone acknowledge that I was likely a true Christian – even likely someone who took it more seriously than most – because I was. But since I left I’ve mostly had to work at convincing people that I was even a true Christian at all. As an outsider, I’m impressed that you picked up on that aspect of exChristians because you’re absolutely right – we took it very seriously and gave it our all. In fact – if we hadn’t taken it so seriously we’d probably still be in it – but we craved truth in every area of our life and Christianity crumbled upon closer inspection.
If you click on the Deconversion Stories category in my blog’s category cloud you’ll come across some other people with deconversion blogs – most of them I’ve interacted with personally (online anyway). Just if you’re looking for other stories like mine.
Here’s the blog of someone I ‘know’ online. He just recently deconverted. It’s an interesting blog because he started the blog when he was just beginning to have doubts and blogged throughout his journey. He just recently ‘came out’ to people in his life. You might find his blog interesting.
http://bittersweetend.wordpress.com/
Thanks! I’ll check it out!
Thanks for sharing your story Brenda. I,m glad I stumbled across your blog while looking for something else. I can relate to parts of your story – doubt, fears etc. I went to a couple of fundamentalist churches as a teen and adult over the years. However, I grew up occasionally attending Anglican churches with grandparents, had hippy parents with strong hindu yoga philosophies, an atheist mother and step father and step siblings – a real mix!. I found fundamentalist Christianity in its extremes to be stressful and eventually moved to less fundy position.
I have always and continue to read books, articles and blogs about different philosophies and religions including atheism. Fundamentalism in its extremes may discourage doing so but I think it’s beneficial to not live in a bubble so we can FREELY choose our path. Although we both have done the work of reading, thinking, picking apart, wrestling etc. we have arrived at different positions. Having read your post helps me understand and respect more the journey of those for whom the travels lead to unbelief and the bravery to get there. I wanted to respond so that people would see there is no danger in thoughful, considered examination of Christianity. It may lead one person away from faith and yet another to a deeper understanding, yet another to a different understanding. I am currently in a place of peace with my christian faith which is not fundamentalist (Found N T Wrights works helpful). I am content to not know all the answers (christian, atheist or other) and to respect other’s right to beliefs / unbelief which differ from my own.
While I’m raising my children in a Christian home, they too will journey for themselves: questioning, researching etc. For this I have little fear, for how else will they freely choose? They are surrounded by so many in their lives with differing or no belief there will be no shortage of choice, regardless of teaching (faith or atheist based). Our friends and relatives are a mix of Christian and non Christian (my best friend is a strong atheist) so we are certainly not living in a fundamentalist bubble which I wonder may be more cultural than about the christian faith. In my opinion listening to christian music, highlighting passages throughout the Bible, watching Christian tv, and doing fundamentalist Christian culture is not necessarily living the Christian faith. I have burned myself out before and seen others do the same doing this church culture stuff. The early church didn’t have individual Bibles, highlighter pens, Christian bookshops with ‘how to live’ books etc. They met for prayer, teaching and aiding one another. I just had to sift through to the basics…..I have seen so many people convert or deconvert and back again that I do not believe in extremes any more – rather journeys.
Wishing you all the best on your journey in life. Cheers.
Thanks for commenting Melanie!
I can appreciate that your searching led to a different place than mine did and I applaud your view that we are on our own individual journeys.
I find it hard to describe my Christian life. Many Christians assume that I couldn’t have been a true Christian and then left the faith. So when I try to describe how real my relationship with God and Christ were, I stumble trying to find a way to convey that. I mention some externals in my story, but it was much more than that to me. I don’t feel I burned out at all. I believed the god of the universe lived in my heart and was guiding me through every decision and moment in my life and then within a very short time span I realized that he likely didn’t even exist. I didn’t search for atheism because I was dissatisfied or burned out by Christianity. I didn’t search for it at all – it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’m glad your life is filled with people of many different beliefs. I’m guessing that you have a more liberal view of hell (although you can correct me if I’m wrong.) I find that Christians who don’t believe non-Christians are going to hell are much more able to be accepting that everyone is on their own journey.
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your taking the time to share a bit about your own journey.
I know that we have many queries in this world and that at we may come to a point where we are compelled stop believing in the a “god”, but I just wanted to share to you that there are also inexplicable things that only an All-knowing God can answer. An example is the creation of everything. Up til now, I don’t think anybody can still explain how everything came to existence. This is why God is called the Alpha and the Omega. Hmmm… And I don’t think hell should be feared because if you simply believe that God exists and you live a Christian life following His rules, everything will fall into place according to God’s plans for us and that is a place in heaven after death on earth.
Hi Brenda,
My name is Shane Turner and after 10 years of Christianity I left the church. The aftershock of leaving Christianity has haunted me for the past 14 years. Worrying I am going to burn in an eternal lake of fire. Over the past month I really started looking into the Bible and how corrupted it really is. It has taken me years to recover from the damage Christianity did to me. I am now 32 years old and am slowly to come to terms that the Bible is not true. Also I was a true Christian and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. While I am no atheist I believe something created the Universe but I dont see it like Christians do in the Bible. At age 8 I asked Jesus to come into my heart and forgive me of my sins and was baptized. Dont tell me that I never had a true relationship with Christ. Why would God ignore the prayers of a child asking him for forgiveness? As a child (9-15) I felt tormented and was still extremely scared I was going to die to burn in an eternal lake of fire forever. I prayed hardto Jesus and asked for forgiveness and heal me of all my bad feelings. I tried as a child hard as I could to seek Jesus and still felt scared inside. One time I was 10 years old and could not find my dad in a trailer where we lived. I started screaming bawling,and was throwing a fit thinking the rapture had happened and I had been left behind. I had many episodes like this from 10-15 and would even circle my block seeing if there were christian people I knew or little children that were still here. I was always terrifiedI went to youth group a lot in my pre teen teen years. At 14 when I was in youth group I had a nervous breakdown over a guy who I had a crush on and did not want to realize it. I was literally worrying myself to death and this breakdown nearly ended my life. This breakdown lasted 6-12 months for a year. I had to go to this guys because I always wanted to be around him and did not realize how mentally ill and sick it was making me. I could eat very little to nothing and sometimes would throw up nothing because I may not have wanted to accept the fact I might be gay. I have had gay tendencies since I was 4 but coming to terms with it takes a lot of years. I was always taught homosexuality was an abomination to the Lord and would burn in hell for eternity. I completely left church and Christianity by the time I was 17. Soon after I finally came out of the closet. I was chastised by people and even my own mother told me some of the most harshest things I could ever imagine. Even 14-15 years later after this happened I still had fear of burning in an eternal lake of fire. I am getting better but the scars Christianity left me was unimaginable. I feel like for a change I can finally reject Christianity and live my life for who I am.
Shane
I’m so glad you commented here. Thanks for sharing your story. My heart breaks for you a bit because it sounds like you are/were stuck in that in-between place where you didn’t believe Christianity but you still feared being punished for your disbelief. I was there for quite a while and it’s an awful place to be. Do you still fear hell? Please click on the Heaven/Hell link in my category cloud on the right side. It will have some of my posts on that topic. You can type keywords into the search box as well if you want to pull up posts of mine on different topics or areas of concern for you.
I hope my blog can be of some help to you and please feel free to comment again.
Shane – I think this post is the first one of mine that you should read/watch (watch the entire second video):
http://leftchristianity.com/2011/10/15/a-personal-response-to-a-talk-by-the-thinking-atheist/
Brenda,
Thank You for the reading and video. I did the reading but have not watched the video yet. The Thief In The Night Series(Patty,Diane, Jerry,Wenda, Sandy, Kathy, David, Leslie, Linda, and many others) you mention I have watched several times and it scared the living hell out of me. I hear the music and voices from those movies that goes through my mind everytime I think about it. I want to a Baptist Christian School and when I was 11 they showed all four of these films in chapel. In fact there were about 20 kids in the entire school ranging from 5-17 that watched all four of these videos. There are quite a few of these kids from childhood who stil attend this church These videos really started the spark of worrying of being left behind and would stay around other Christians and my parents and would try to always keep them in eyesight as much as possible. If I did not I would sometimes start shaking,worrying, screaming and thinking the rapture had happened and I had been left behind. Like, I said I had many of these terrifying experiences. One time when visting Los Angeles at 15 my parents left were going to leave me in the room alone and I started screaming and crying because I thought the rapture would happen while they were gone and I would get left behind in LA. I graduated from this school at 16. My mom and dad did give me options to where I could go to school. I felt like there is no way I would have succeded at Emporia High School in Kansas because I have higher end autism and on top of it I am gay. Like you said this is like a form of intense and very damaging, psychologically, emotionally, and I feel teaching children this stuff is a form of child abuse. It may ruin people for a long time and possibly even the rest of their life. I cant live like that in constant fear. They would tell me fear is of the Devil BS. In the Bible it says the fearful (followed by other things in that verse stated) will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that would just terrify me even more. I do believe in something in this universe bigger than me but not the God of the Holy Bible. Just wanted to let you know it does not bother me if you are an atheist at all. The Bible is so wretched and terrible I cant see how anybody can follow it. I bet if the word Hell, Eternal Lake of Fire, Eternal Damnation and other mentions of Hell were not in the Bible I doubt very few people people would even follow it.
Shane
Do you feel you are over the fear of hell now? I’m not clear about that after reading your responses. Also, I truly hope you don’t struggle at all with your homosexuality anymore. I can’t stand the thought that people are made to feel bad in any way about loving another human being.
Brenda,
I am sometimes a little bit scared of there being a literal Hell or Eternal Lake of Fire. I dont know though because my life has been based on fear because of being taught this. My homosexuality is as far back as I can remember and have cursed the God of the Bible many times for this happening to me. I have went as far as saying if the God of the Bible really does exist he should be the one that burns in an eternal lake of fire or be completely destroyed. It is Gods fault for giving Satan dominion over the earth and deliberately letting humanity get deceived. The God of the Bible is a murderer, a liar, and a deceiver. Christians always defend this by saying it was Satan. God made Satan and knew everything from the beginning to the end. That is not free will as far as I am concerned. Strange how he doesnt give animals free will to choose between right and wrong or have a soul. They basically can do as they please. We on the other hand were given so called free will and we must accept Christ as our Saviour and turn from our ways or burn in hell for eternity. God picked on humanity and he should pay the ultimate price himself. If I ever had a kid I would never let him/her read anything in that damned Holy Bible or would never allow them to go to church. I would rather have never been born or never taught any of this BS. I do in ways struggle with it and have severely emotional and mental scars from it. My dad and uncle claimed to experience miracles from the Lord and some people who died claim they have seen Heaven and Hell. It is hard to really say what I feel anymore and wonder what my dad and uncle experienced was somerthing else, and people made up stories about dying and seeing Heaven and Hell just to make money. I feel like writing a story about this and on leaving Christianity.
Brenda,
I am sorry if I said anything to offend you or others. It is just how I feel if a God like the one in the Holy Bible existed.
Shane
Here are some resources I think might be helpful to you:
http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
Leaving The Fold: Testimonies Of Former Fundamentalists
Leaving the Fold
Do you still see your homosexuality as a curse or have you embraced it now?
No one knows anymore about some supposed invisible world or afterlife than you or I do Shane. People buy into a worldview that tells them that they have some insider info but they don’t. Do you think that even if there is a god that it will judge us on whether we guessed who had the correct version of a story about an invisible world? No. And if there is a god – it made us human and it would be absurd to punish us for being what it made us to be.
Here are a couple great quotes for you Shane:
“Assure a man that he has a soul and then frighten him with old wives’ tales as to what is to become of him afterward, and you have hooked a fish, a mental slave.”
Theodore Dreiser
“Live a good life. If there are Gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are Gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no Gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
Marcus Aurelius
Actually – click on my Quotes link in the category cloud and read through all of them. I think you might find them helpful.
Missed one link I wanted to include in those resources:
http://www.ex-christian.net/
Brenda,
Thank You, I will stay in contact with you. I am in AA and the people there are very honest and whether someone believes in God or not does not matter. They just say see God as you would understand him or what you think he might be. A lot of people in AA turned away from fundamentalist Christianity. A lot of them believe the Bible is BS. There is more spirituality, peace, and serenity in AA than any church I have ever been. Most of them are accepting and I feel more acceptance in there than the hypocritical and judgmental fundamentalists of Christianity.
I am glad you have people who support you and accept you for who you are and where you’re at. I wish you the best – and yes – you’re welcome to stay in touch.
Excellent post. Stumbled across it from Nate’s blog.
Always amazes me the replies from Christians who seem to think you must have had a breakdown to leave Christianity, not realising that in many cases it is a breakdown or severe emotional trauma that causes people to take up Christianity in the first place.
Your tale is little different from many I have read or the few I have nteracted with personally.
The inculcation of the fearful 10 year old and the threat of Hell is the truly destructive part of religion and should be equated with child abuse.
I am happy you have emerged relatively unscathed.
As I wrote on Nate’s blog, stories like this should be compulsory reading for everyone.
Good for you. Best of luck.
arkenaten
Thanks for commenting here and thanks for the encouragement! This post of mine may interest you. It gives a bit more detail about why I converted to Christianity and how difficult it was to get out.
http://leftchristianity.com/2011/10/15/a-personal-response-to-a-talk-by-the-thinking-atheist/
Thank you.Ever since I began a casual enquiry about Moses and discovered Professor Zev Herzog (google him, his story is quite an eyeopener if you want to know about the Old Testament) I have been fascinated by religion.
I will most certainly will take a look at more of your posts.
Take care. Dare I say, spread the word?
I do accept myself for being gay. Watch “Prayers For Bobby” it will make you ball. All the gay preteen and teen suicides have changed my mind on fundamentalist christianity. A seven year old boy 7 months ago committed suicide for being bullied for being accused of being gay and other derogative names. SEVEN YEARS OLD. It is hard to say if the poor child was gay for who knows when their that age, There have also been a number of 10-15 year old gay youth who have committed suicide because of fundamentalist and bullying. In some senses you can say I am a Christian but not fundamentalist. In fact I would support an atheist anyday over a fundamentalist. I believe in God and Jesus but defenitely far from the fire and brimstone preaching of fundamentalists see them. Eternal torment is evil no matter what way you look at it. I do not believe that will happen. Deconversion from fundamentalists is changing my life spiritually. My mom who highly condemned me with fundamentalism 10-15 years ago for being gay actually told me yesterday that no matter if I am gay or straight she believes I will go to Heaven. That is the best Christmas present ever. I think men made up the BS on the rapture and in the last days BS to scare people to death. Some of them actually believe the wrath of God will fall on this country for allowing gay marriage. That is utter BS. Canada allows gay marriage and has so for years and there is a lot less disasters than in the US. God loves everyone and will not eternally torment someone for not believing. If it is anything I believe it would be eternal seperation not a bloodthirsty God who likes to watch people burn in flames forever.
Hi Brenda. I can not believe that you would give up a faith because 2 people close to you died. I find death interesting. I do not fear dying but my desire is to die gracefully in my old age. Death does not seem to echo a whole lot of emotions from me. When my mother died not long ago I took it all gracefully. Death is the end of all the struggles in this life. No more physical or mental struggle. My father is 91 years old and he will exit this life soon but I have no fear bout his death. Death has to come, it is very natural to die. True dying early in life leaves a spot in people’s hearts but if the person dying was a righteous person than the hope is that the person would rise rather than go down. In my later life I have found my life living more for reason than for feelings. I know when I was younger feelings dominated my life lots. Reason gives us that edge makes us strong and teaches us. I have no scruples of Jesus Christ be a reasonable God Son. My scruples inform me that Jesus is about reason not feelings. Feelings are more for immature people. I will welcome death in my old age, I do not want to live too long where my age is too much to bear. Jesus died at 33 yeas old, he was young, but he saw death as no bearer of bad tidings. Trying to stay physically young is vanity of the flesh. In my ageing I have kept my youthful looks I look much younger than my age and I give this over to God’s wisdom. To join with God (in spirit and soul-mind) is to be faithful, just as I keep faithful with my wife. To be faithful to me is a very much needed virtue to be close to God. How can you say live with a spouse and at the same time be unfaithful to them. To be unfaithful means one is in darkness, they don’t want to be in the light, in the light people who discern will see their unfaithfulness and this is a no no to them, their spouse will see their sins. To leave God because of an intellectual issue to me is lame. First there are the 2 deaths then there is the intellectual issue. God is the brains; God is not just Spirit. God has a head and rules from the head. The head is above, please let the head rule. You are a spirit and it takes a lot if time to educate the human spirit in the true ways of God. It is best to be honest to everyone, keep your conscience clear between you and everyone and between you and God. Speak the truth “Why did you leave God”. Was it unfaithfulness?
And I can’t believe how terrible you are at reading comprehension. She did not leave Christianity directly because of the deaths, but because of the questions she started asking because of those deaths.
And you have the audacity to say feelings are for immature people? Then you say you live more for reason than feelings, and then say leaving God because of an “intellectual issue” is lame? I’m sorry, but that’s being hypocritical.
I don’t get people like you who come here and start preaching as if someone who LEFT CHRISTIANITY hasn’t heard these things in all the years they were a Christian. You’re wasting your time and just proving how insensitive Christians can be with their feeling of god-given superiority.
I always believe people who do not accept the invitation of Christ have reasons for not doing so. It is not like I don’t feel like being a disciple of Christ. But I do not want to follow Christ because of “this or that”. There are reasons behind everything. Now I do not go around willy nilly inviting people to accept Christ as their Lord. Hey I might be screamed at, I might be stoned, and it goes on. Christ is real to me but it is a faith. Without faith I am nothing. I am faithful to God as I am faithful to my wife. I do not stray from God or my wife. So what are your reasons to not believe in my God?
You didn’t address any of my points.
1) You were wrong in accusing her of leaving Christianity directly because of those deaths. We all know everyone dies, so it’s deeper than that.
2) How can you say feelings are for immature people and then say leaving for reason is lame?
3) Why would you preach to an ex-Christian, telling them the same things they’ve already heard while they were a Christian as if that will make a difference?
Even though you ignored my points, I will address yours.
You start out with a flawed premise: that those who are not Christians did so because they didn’t “accept” the invitation of Christ. This is bogus for Brenda and me as we both accepted “Christ” but realized through our life experience that Christianity was false. Again, this site is LEFT CHRISTIANITY so we WERE Christians.
This has been said many times before, but faith is believing in something without evidence. Muslims have faith, and they believe just as much as you do that Allah is real to them, so how can faith be any path to understanding which god is right?
My reasons for leaving Christianity are outlined in my story that I sent to Brenda:
http://leftchristianity.com/2012/07/16/speeds-deconversion-story/
Lester, may I ask what your religion has taught you about humility? Is it considered a virtue? And what does it consist in?
Truth is humility.
This might sound silly, but like the host of this blog it took years for me to figure out I was an atheist. Once I did, I felt free. I immediately saw through all the lies, and foggy answers the religions provide. You can visit my blog for more of my background. My remarks sound pointed and mean, but sometimes plain simple facts come out that way. The religion don’t like the fact that thousands of years of believe and control and be destroyed in a few direct questions of evidence. Noah as 950 years old? Come on. Jesus born on December 25 to a virgin mother?